Supporting Your Tween’s & Teen's Mental Health: Recognizing & Responding to Red Flags
January 31, 2025 | Madeline Thompson Smith, APC
Madeline is an associate professional counselor at Sunrise Counseling in Snellville, Georgia. She works with individuals of all ages and specializes in supporting preteens and teens through life’s challenges. She runs counseling groups for middle schoolers and high schoolers to build confidence and coping skills while creating positive peer relationships.
Supporting Your Tween’s & Teen's Mental Health: Recognizing & Responding to Red Flags
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Warning Signs to Watch For
How to Check in with Your Teen
Next Steps for Finding Support
Your 11 year old’s birthday list has switched from stuffed animals to skin care and your 15 year old now speaks in video game references. Yep, adolescence is a time of all kind of changes — and as a parent or guardian, it’s sometimes hard to know what changes are expected and what changes might be signs that something is wrong. Almost all tweens and teens experience emotional ups and downs, but when mood or behavior changes begin to interfere with your kid’s life, it’s important to pay attention.
Recognizing early warning signs of mental health concerns is important for early intervention. If we can step in when things first get tough, we can help prevent more serious mental health issues. Let’s explore common red flags, how to approach conversations about mental health, and where to access additional support for your child if needed.
Below are changes to watch for that may signal that your kid is struggling. Spotting one or two of these occasionally isn’t necessarily a cause for alarm—after all, what teen hasn’t been crabby or spent extra time in their room? But if these changes persist or you notice several at once, it’s time to check in or consider talking with a counselor.
Warning Signs to Watch For
Persistent Sadness or Depressed Mood
Your teen seems down more often than not. They may express feelings of hopelessness or seem unusually quiet and low-energy.
Frequent Crying
Your teen is crying more often than usual or over things that wouldn’t normally upset them.
Persistent Irritability
For many teens, irritability—rather than sadness—is the primary symptom of depression. This might look like your teen becoming snippy, frequently arguing with siblings, or seeming more short-tempered than usual.
Isolation or Withdrawal
Your teen might spend most of their time in their room, refuse family activities, quit clubs or sports teams, or spend noticeably less time with friends.
No Longer Enjoying Things
The official term for this is anhedonia, which means losing the ability to experience pleasure in things you used to enjoy. Maybe your artsy teen has stopped drawing, your dancer doesn’t want to go to class, or your foodie refuses outings to their favorite restaurant.
Changes in Appetite or Sleep
Classic depression can involve eating less or having trouble sleeping, leading to fatigue, naps, or falling asleep in class. Atypical depression, on the other hand, might cause increased appetite or excessive sleep. Either pattern is worth paying attention to.
Decline in Schoolwork or Grades
If your straight-A student doesn’t seem to care about a failing grade or their overall performance is slipping for no clear reason, it might be a sign of emotional problems.
Alcohol or Drug Use
Some teens turn to vaping, marijuana, or alcohol as a way to self-medicate. If you find evidence of these behaviors, it could indicate underlying emotional struggles.
Behavioral Changes
Maybe your typically peaceful teen got into a fight at school, or you found out they shoplifted. Sometimes, people who feel numb will act out in extreme ways just to feel something. Increased irritability can also lead to behavior that’s out of character.
How to Check in with Your Teen
Lots of teenagers want to ask for help but feel embarrassed or don’t know how. Opening the conversation yourself could be exactly what they need. Even if they brush you off or say, “Nothing’s wrong!” and storm away, you’ve shown them you care and are willing to listen. They might need time to process or gather the courage to come back to you.
A Tried-and-True Formula
One of the best ways to start is: “I noticed _________. What’s up?”
Fill in the blank with an observation, phrased in a way that avoids making them defensive. For instance, “I’ve noticed you’ve been acting different” is more likely to get a positive response than, “I’ve noticed you’ve been rude lately.”
After that, sit back and listen to what they have to say. Resist any urge to minimize their struggles or feelings, and thank them for opening up to you. Let them know that you’re there to support them and ask what you can do to help.
Additional Helpful Questions or Phrases:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been acting different, and I’m worried about you. I’m wondering if you’ve thought you might be depressed.”
“Sometimes people feel sad or mad all the time and don’t know why. Is that something that’s been happening to you lately?”
“I know there’s a lot of kids dealing with mental health stuff. Do any of your friends have depression or anxiety? Have you ever felt that way?”
“Sometimes when people are having a really difficult time, their brains try to think of any way out, and some people think of hurting themselves or killing themselves. Is that something you’ve thought about before?”
Starting these conversations isn’t easy, but take a deep breath and remind yourself that you don’t need to have all the answers—sometimes just showing you’re there to listen is enough, and there are professionals who can help you take the next steps.
Next Steps for Finding Support
If your teen opens up and says they are struggling, or your gut still tells you something is off, you have options for getting support:
Talk to Their Pediatrician: Your kid’s doctor can help rule out any physical health issues and recommend appropriate next steps for mental health support.
Connect with a Counselor: Professional counseling provides a supportive space for your teen to explore their feelings and learn coping strategies.
If you’re located in Georgia, you can contact me for a free consultation or check out our middle school and high school counseling groups
Explore School Resources: Many schools have counselors or social workers who can offer support and guidance.
Contact Crisis Resources: If your teen expresses thoughts of self-harm or suicide, don’t wait. Contact a local crisis line or the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 in the U.S.
Every step you take shows your teen that their well-being matters to you. Remember that your child’s mental health is never a reflection of you as a parent, and needing help doesn’t mean that you’ve missed something or done something wrong. Everyone struggles at some point or another in life, and reaching out to get help for your kid is the best way to show them that you are there for them and will support them in whatever way they need.
Madeline is an associate professional counselor at Sunrise Counseling in Snellville, Georgia. She works with individuals of all ages and specializes in supporting preteens and teens through life’s challenges. She runs counseling groups for middle schoolers and high schoolers to build confidence and coping skills while creating positive peer relationships.
